Time and the future

Good morning blogger,

It's been well over a month now, and the idea of my ex being with someone else no longer carries the same weight on my mind that it used to. Thinking about this everyday, mulling over the details of everything I did wrong to push such a wonderful person out of my life, has made me grow used to that miserable idea. There are moments when the idea of the lost love dawns on me and I get lost in my internal pain, but at this point the initial shock has now passed. And I thank whatever God there is for that.

At this point all I want is to work. It has been months since I've lost my last job and I'm sure it's also contributing to my depression. Having nothing to do all day but pine my losses and nurse myself back to being a functional member of society, to nurse myself back into being a man who can provide again, I want something positive to come up so that I can have a glimmer of hope at restoring my happiness. I want progress.

The good thing is I recognize some positives that have come out of this: I truly understand the merits of complete honesty, the importance of partnership and friendship with your partner as an ally in our struggle in life. Without that honesty there's just no way to create an environment of trust which is essential to all relationships. I also truly understand what it means to have a good partner, someone who is willing to do everything to be with you, someone who becomes more beautiful each day you look at her. I understand how important it is to treat a lady the way she deserves to be treated, not just how you think she should be treated, it shows that you not only listen, but that you truly care about their happiness.

I've always believed that life is a struggle that is difficult for everyone. We all have to pay our dues, most of us have to work hard everyday to live a remotely fulfilling life, and we all have our own personal stories that make us sad or even feel damaged. That is why it is important for us to find someone to share our lives with, someone who will share both your joys and pain to make life that much easier to enjoy. Most of us want to come home to the beautiful smiling face of our loved ones and take pride in the fact that one of the reasons they smile everyday is because of you.

Last month I lost faith in love, but in remembering how she made me feel whenever she smiled at me with those beautiful blue eyes, I remember that love is not deceptive, but the most wonderful feeling in the world. Love is more addictive than heroin, and it's loss creates withdrawal just the same, but when it is found and respected it is literally the most wonderful feeling in the world. And I want it again.

It's far too soon right now because in my mind she is the love that can't be compared to any other still, but someday maybe I'll be able to find it again, just as she has.

With my lessons at heart after innumerable mistakes on my part, I know that next time I'll be a wonderful man to a most deserving, beautiful woman who can truly restore my faith in that precious state of mind. I will take care of myself so that I can take care of my future love.

Thanks for reading.