Seriously?

Why the fuck do I always run into this shit

Mitch Miller - My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean: http://youtu.be/Io9MPyXE2K0

Fuck you Karma

Lol I got called out.

Leo horoscope for Jun 28 2014 You would like to make a change in your life, and you have probably been thinking a lot about it in recent weeks. Maybe you want to change something about your lifestyle, your home, or even yourself. But have you closely explored your reasons for wanting this change, Leo? Can you recollect when this idea first came to you? And why is it so important to you now? It's fine to work at self-improvement, as long as what you're planning is truly an improvement, and it's something that you want for the right reasons. If you're trying to please someone else, you need to reevaluate. You need to aspire to your own ideals. -- Copyright © Daily Horoscope. Download it now — http://bit.ly/DHmobile

Inner strength

Good evening blogger,

I'm honestly not sure how long this post will be. I feel a bit inspired to write something but I'm at work, so the length of this post is a complete mystery to me. I hope it's only a paragraph.

Lately I've spent the past few days talking to a good friend of mine from the past. I'm not sure if she would be ok with me sharing her name, so I opt to omit. As a good friend of both Harrison and myself, I felt comfortable talking to her about some of the troubled thoughts I have been enduring. She, too, has gone through her fair share of heart break, and I always appreciate a woman's input: I respect a man's opinion, but the man box unfortunately make it a chore to get a real answer out of a guy when it comes to his feelings about certain things. And when it comes to this subject, I rather have the best and most honest answers. Because honestly, I'm tired of guys saying to just fuck someone to feel better.

I don't think you get it. Sure, I can go and have sex with a random woman, share her warmth and, for a moment, forget everything that I felt I've lost with my ex. But that isn't me. As a man I notice that we thrive on temporary fixes rather than finding a wholesome answer to our troubles. Just as our brief orgasms, we try to be content with temporary fixes: anything else is either too much effort or not many.

As for myself, I want a wholesome answer. As strange as it may sound, I don't blame my ex for leaving me (at least not anymore). At a certain point in my life I got mixed up with a crowd of people whom I allowed to influence me in a very negative way. Amongst many other vices, I wasn't the best boyfriend material.

The problem is I couldn't get past blaming myself for everything that went wrong in the relationship. And so I sought answers and ended up speaking with my friend.

I'd have to say, of all people I've had a chance to speak with, I've never spoken to someone who was more patient, responsive, and seemed genuinely caring. She really responded to what I had to say, and I didn't feel like she was pulling my leg when she suggested that maybe I was blaming myself for too much.

The days

To be honest, blogger, I had been avoiding you for the past few days.

Reading over my old posts made me remember how I felt on the day I was cut off. The days where crying bitterly did absolutely nothing to make me feel better, but we're just a normal occurrence that I was supposed to get used to. The days where I spent hours on facebook, trying so hard to keep myself distracted, knowing full and well that I wanted her attention back. The days where I realized that she would no longer send me pictures or messages about her experiences because I didn't show enough interest or care, and now I am left with nothing but profile pictures on social media. The days where I realized that another man now has the heart of the woman I love so much that I destroyed and rebuilt myself just to suit her.

And now that she's gone I'm so terribly lost. I'm so terribly sad, I can't sleep, all I see are her warm smiles generated by her new life without me.

I know I sound like a whiny little bitch. In fact I am being a whiny little bitch. I've always sucked at showing my love to someone, it took my family years to understand how I am, how my withdrawn nature is not because I don't care, but because I just don't know how to show anyone who I really am.

I wanted to show her who I am, I was ready to, I just needed time but I ran out because you had had enough.

I'm trying to understand. I know why you left, I know why you had to go. I know there was just too much, and I know that you burned bridges with me just to make sure there was no turning back.

But I don't understand why I'm not allowed to love you anymore.

I miss you with every fiber of my being. I miss laying down and sleeping next to you. Your belly rising and falling against my hands and arms that were wrapped around your waist. Now this is for someone else?

I'm supposed to be getting better but I'm still just as sad as I was before. Our bond is no more, I'm not even your friend.

If I spoke to you, it would just be called unhealthy or creepy. That's what my love is now. Unhealthy and creepy. It's unwelcomed.

I never thought this day would come, but it's my everyday life now.

A living nightmare of love for nothing. And fond memories that only sting now.

You'll never read this blog, I don't even know why I'm writing it anymore.