My horoscope, my life

Leo horoscope for May 10 2014 You have ended something in your life recently - a job, a romance, a friendship, or an arrangement of some kind. Maybe you are happy that it ended, but still there is a gap in your life. You may want to fill it simply because there is a feeling of emptiness. But don't just randomly do so, Leo. Look around for a while. Seek out spiritual enlightenment. Look for guidance from someplace you can trust. Think about it. Live with it. Dream about it. And then give yourself permission to fill that gap in the happiest of ways. -- Copyright © Daily Horoscope. Download it now — http://bit.ly/DHmobile

I certainly am NOT happy about it remotely, but I do feel empty inside. My issue is I want to be happy with her and to be part of her family again. I just need to accept that this will never happen. If she ever considered me I would be second best in her heart, at best.

Today I had a nice job interview all the way in king of Prussia, PA. With this opportunity I get to move closer to the city, and gain more exposure to humanity. During my drive I noticed how beautiful the day was, and I began to think positively about everything we endured together. I felt terrible about the immaturity I put forth during the relationship, and I felt very thankful for the changes that she helped me make in my life. I can try and learn to accept that she will never be mine again, that maybe her role in my life was to just help me see the value of being very considerate. While I can say I regret breaking the trust with her that ultimately led to the demise of what we had in a most awful way, I wouldn't have learned if I wasn't emotionally destroyed by our ending.

God knows I loved her so much, I loved her family, all I wanted was her trust and respect. I wanted the freedom to be friends with whomever and her to have the confidence that I would come back home to her. I wanted her to be close to my family because I felt like they would love her rigid morality. I loved her smile when she laughed with me. She was just so beautiful to me. I wanted her to live with me and have the ability to cuddle with her every day. She thought I liked the distance but being on Skype for hours was so taxing on me too.

I miss her so much. I miss talking to her, I miss her voice... I still sob everyday when I think about everything I've done and lost.

I know I need to let go now since she's happily with another man. I need to really let that sink in and try to find my own happiness. I don't want to date anyone right now because I'd only be comparing them to her.

I'll be writing part 2 of "Turning My Life Around" soon. I'll try my best to give details without giving away too much in case she ever runs into this emotional mess of a blog.

Have a good night blogger. Thank you for allowing me to vent, always.

Johnny